Mornings aren’t my strong suit.

This morning was a perfect example! My alarm went off at 7am. I snuggled back into my warm blanket and many pillows, easily drifting back to sleep. I heard the front door shut at my dad left at 7:15am for work but that barely registered. 8:15am my mom left for work, once again bringing me into the very early stages of wakefulness before I turned over and plunged back into slumber. Even when I was awake, I stayed curled up in bed basking in it’s toasty comfort and unwilling to move. I counted to one-hundred and then made myself throw off the covers and climb out of bed. It had just turned 9am.

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My reluctance, in part, comes from winter. It’s been getting down into the negative numbers for the night and early mornings here and though the inside temperature is set for the low seventies (Fahrenheit) the cold still sneaks in and makes itself known. I am “lucky” enough to have the bedroom with two walls that have nothing but the elements on the other side. I am also the farthest bedroom from the furnace. My room gets just a tad chilly. I wear long pajama pants and my long-sleeved shirt was thermal, but the chill still bites a little first thing in the morning and I’ll be honest… if I don’t have to be at work or an appointment, I don’t want to crawl out of bed until I either absolutely NEED to use the bathroom or my stomach starts growling. Until then, I pull the curtain so that blasted ray of light quits falling across my face and hunker down.

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I used to not care about this at all. It didn’t bother me. I’d put in my time getting up early for school through grade, middle, Jr. high and high school and then college. I had earned my late mornings! I had tried a few times to become an early bird, but I love my late nights and AM snuggle time too much to really cement an earlier schedule into place. I am, however, going to give it another go since in my healthier lifestyle endeavors, it would benefit me to get up early and have breakfast so that I can get in a good workout. Exercise makes me feel great, so if I do it before the middle of the day, I’ll feel better and be more motivated to get more done earlier. My brain understands this, I see how it works and I make a plan to go to bed a little earlier and wake up a little earlier… but when I’m half awake and surrounded by pillows, I just can’t pull myself upright until 9am most days.

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Maybe if I treated my workout like an appointment I have to keep, or if I set alarms one minute apart for fifteen minutes… or maybe just kick myself in the butt in the morning and remind myself to just DO IT already! Ah, but all reason seems to be of no consequence when I’m in the perfect comfy position. This is something I’m going to keep focusing on, though. I can train myself to get up earlier, I just know it! I have to find what works for me.

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Now, lets see if I can go get dressed for work without giving into the temptation to flop back down onto my bed. Just ten minutes! (it’s never just ten minutes, haha!)

Who do I want to be today?

This is a question I’ve started asking myself in the morning to make sure I start the day on the right foot, thinking about positive goals and changes so I’m more inclined to work on breaking bad habits and sticking to my healthy plans. Who do I want to be today? I’m not getting ready to play dress-up or anything, but more deciding what kind of person I’m going to be. What kind of person am I working towards being? What kind of person can I be so that I’m proud of myself at the end of the day, so that I’m happy and so that I can say “Yeah, I had a great day!”

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I want to be healthy! So, I’m thinking about food for the day. I’m going to avoid my dad’s cookie stash, I’m getting ready to make a healthy spinach omelet for breakfast, I’m planning on making my mom and me a veggie-packed stir fry for dinner and I’m going to re-organize the fridge and put all of my healthy stuff on a separate shelf for myself so I don’t have to dig around and remind myself that there’s leftover pizza or a container of chip dip or anything like that.

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I want to be strong! So I’m exercising today. I’ll be sore and out of breath and sweaty, and half way through I’ll really want to quit… but I’ll stick it out and I’ll be stronger for it. It’s been a week since my friend and I officially started our healthy path, so I’m a week stronger than I used to be. When I exercise I make my body, my arms and legs, my core, my heart and my lungs stronger. I’ll follow up with something healthy and full of protein to help my muscles recover, to give them what they need to keep me going to the next workout.

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I want to be honest! With my binge eating disorder, I’ve done a lot of lying in the past about food. Who ate all the fill-in-the-blank? Not me! Where did all the whatever go? I don’t know! Who hid all these candy wrappers here? Not me! So I’m going to try my best today, and own anything I do. I’ll let my healthy buddy know what I’m up to so we can cheer each other on. I’m going to try my best not to fall into unhealthy habits that I’ll want to conceal from my friend and family.

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Other things I think about are being a great daughter, sister, aunt, friend, employee… what can I do today for the people around me? Things as simple as cleaning or making dinner to other stuff like donating and/or volunteering for charity. Anything I can do today to feel like I’ve been the kind of person that I look up to, the kind of person that my parents raised me to be.

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It’s a lot of thinking, but it gives me some quiet, thoughtful time in the morning and it really helps me get in a good mind-set for the day. By the time I’m done, I’m usually ready for breakfast! Remember that you’re worth anything in this world! Your worth being the kind of person that you want to be, you’re worth being happy at the end of the day.

Bee pollen and maca powder and chia seeds, oh my!

Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it! Oh well. I was planning to get up at 7am. My alarm went off, I pushed the button to silence it… and went back to sleep for an hour. Up at 8am, spent some time waking up and then got down to making myself a good breakfast.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That mess, haha, is an omelet! I sauteed up a whole bunch of celery, carrots, water chestnuts and garlic with veggie seasoning in a little bit of Best Life Buttery Spread. I poured two beaten eggs over it and then put some grated mozzarella cheese on it before “folding” it. As you can see, there’s quite a bit more veggie than egg, so it turned into rubble, but it was delicious! I was a little overzealous in my veggie content, but it turned out yummy and very filling. With it, I had a piece of Aunt Millie’s 100% wheat toast with “buttery” spread and a cup of green tea. There is a tiny rubber ducky floating in my tea. I’m not a morning person and he puts a smile on my face.

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Then, I exercised! I worked on doing calisthenics today so I did crunches, and side crunchy things and Russian twists and worked my legs a bit, but Franken-leg protested so I didn’t push myself into doing squats today. I worked out for half an hour, drank a lot of water and ended up feeling a bit nauseous but good! My friend checked in with me and we both got out exercise in! We’re awesome. We both were feeling it, but were glad we did it. Sent some encouraging texts and then I got to lunch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Much prettier than breakfast! Turkey with romain lettuce, 2% cheese and spicy brown mustard that held on a teaspoon of chia seeds quite nicely! On the side I had some Veggie Medley veggie chips. It had sweet potato, carrot, green bean, squash and taro slices and pieces in it. Very good! The carrots and green beans are on the sweet side. I like the lightly salted crunch snack it made. Now, my pudding. I got ambitious and put a tsp of bee pollen powder and a tsp of maca powder in my sugar-free Jello pudding snack. I used a little bit of 2% milk to keep the consistency right, but that much powder in the little bit of volume that the pudding offered was just too much. The flavor turned bitter and muddy. In a smoothie, I think it would be fine with the berries and yogurt and ice. I ate it, really, but didn’t enjoy it. Each individual ingredient didn’t taste bad (I tried everything before adding) but all together was just too much. That tall glass of water helped me get it down, haha!

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For dinner, we’re going to have skinless chicken breasts on the bone along with whatever veggie my parents bring home and quinoa! I’m looking forward to trying it for the first time. I know so many people that really like it and even have it in kind of a porridge for breakfast. If this goes well, I might have to order 5lbs instead of 1lb next time! The parents will have mashed potatoes to fall back on if they don’t like the quinoa.

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Alright, I’m going to have some quiet time before I get down to cleaning the living room! Weeeee, burn some more calories. Hope everyone is having a great day!

Setting myself up to win.

Steps I’m taking to ensure I stick to creating a healthier me! I’ve started this journey before and gotten derailed, this time I’m putting some extra incentives in the mix to make sure that even when I don’t think I want to push myself… I remember how much I want to push myself!

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1.) Hanging out with my toddler niece more. She keeps me moving, having fun and is a reminder of why I want to be in this world and able as long as I can. Also, keeping her snacks healthy keep mine healthy, too!

2.) Having a buddy with the same goals coming from a similar place. We’re getting in touch tomorrow to make sure we’re exercising and making the right choices. I’m excited to have someone in the flesh to hang out with and understand what I’m going through.

3.) Incorporating new, healthy foods every month. My order of healthy ingredients in scheduled to arrive tomorrow! That’s super exciting. I’m looking forward to trying quinoa as I’ve heard really good reviews of it! There’s room in the food budget to try at least one new healthy thing every month when I get my “allowance”. New food, ingredient, recipe… something!

4.) New exercises! I admit that last time, my exercise routine worked and it kept me moving but it was the same every day. I also plan on alternating cardio and strength so while my muscles are recovering and resting, my circulatory system gets a good workout. As I lose weight and get stronger, I’ll be able to try different things.

5.) KISS. Keep It Simple, Sistah! At least in the beginning. Calorie counting, exercise and healthy food. When I progress, I’ll probably get into everything more in depth and think more carefully about macro breakdowns, but I don’t want to get too excited and overwhelm myself. I think it’s most important that I just get some weight off at this point. I have a long road ahead of me!

6.) Rewards. Yup. I’m a total goober that will work my butt off if you dangle something shiny in my face. One month into my healthy routine, if I’ve been good, I get to buy myself a manicure kit. Nothing super expensive or anything, just the tools to treat my hands right and take care of these long overlooked ragged cuticles. I’ll get the right tools, maybe some cuticle oil or nice lotion and, of course, new polish! A little reward for sticking to it and making my body a better body to live in. Six month and year reward will be a little bigger, but I haven’t thought of what to tempt myself with, LOL.

7.) Writing about it! Which means this blog. Instead of dumping things bit-by-bit on Facebook or whatever site I’m chillin’ on, I’ll write a blog post and get it all out in the detail that I’d like. Even if it’s to vent or ramble or rage, it’ll be healthy.

8.) Photo journal. I took pictures of myself before, and it was so rewarding to watch my face slowly shrink. I don’t have a scale at home and I doubt my measurements are as accurate as they should be, so taking photos and being conscience of how my clothes feel are good ways for me to tell that I’m doing the right things.

9.) Planning. Am I going to be at work? Have a lunch packed so I don’t end up with a bag of chips and a soda. Is it going to be a busy day? Pre-cut veggies for snacking, pre-measure smoothie ingredients, fill a bottle with water to make sure I remember to stay hydrated. What am I planning to eat tomorrow? Find out at least a day in advance and put the recipe out on the counter. Even track my calories if I know what I’ll be eating.

10.) Cheat days. With my binge eating disorder, you’d think that restricting harshly would be best. I’ve found that if I never let myself have a cookie or a scoop of ice cream or even a trip to the Chinese buffet every once in a while, I end up binging and binging for a week. I’d rather allow myself one day a week of not totally losing control, but loosing the reigns and not worrying about a bit of an unhealthy meal or dessert, or both! This will allow me not to freak out if I end up going out with a friend or making a frozen pizza for dinner. Not sure if I’m going to not count calories on these days or if I’m going to track to keep myself aware, just not worry about going over.

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This time around, I’m coming at this in a more thoughtful manner. I have the experience of my last stint on the healthy wagon and I’ve had lots of great people in my life giving me advice, encouragement and recipes! They remind me who I want to be and who I can be. My new bum leg will provide maybe a bit of a bump in the road, but exercising has been doable so far and it hasn’t complained too much. Hopefully I’ll receive some paperwork soon so that I can apply to see a doctor. Everything seems very encouraging at this point!

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Tomorrow, I am going to wake up early and make myself a veggie-packed omelet to get my day going! This will be paired with a cup of green tea and a slice of whole wheat toast. (For some reason, a meal doesn’t seem complete to my tummy without some carbs) Then, I will do crunches and reverse crunches and Russian twists and squats until I am so exhausted that I must lie in a puddle on the floor before standing. Really going to be pushing the limits tomorrow. Then lunch should be a sammich or salad with turkey, veggie “chips” and a Jello 60 calorie pudding cup. Then shower (I’ll need it by then!) and shopping that I’ve been putting off all week! Not sure when my friend will be getting in touch with me so I’m not sure when she’ll be added to that schedule. Hopefully my healthy order will come tomorrow! It’s tracking number promises that it’s on time, I just don’t know when it’ll be showing up

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Alright, here I go! Wish me luck.

New year… new life? I hope so.

I don’t really get caught up in the New Year Resolution stuff. It just happens that this is around a year since my whole leg trauma and me being sicker than I can ever remember. I feel Pretty good right now. Well, compared to feeling like hell at the time, anyway. I’ll take it! I even seem to be avoiding the cold my mom has, so lets keep our fingers crossed.

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Starting this Saturday, I’ll have a buddy in my weight loss journey! She’s a really good friend who is also plagued by the term “morbidly obese” on her medical records. We both want to get our butts in gear and it’s supposed to be easier with a buddy. She’s getting into Weight Watchers and I’ll be falling back on what worked for me in the past, tracking my calories and exercise at www.livestrong.com with the support of the community there. Even though we’re not officially starting until Saturday, today I tracked my calories and got in a half hour of exercise. I’m surprised that I wasn’t back to starting from scratch since I’d fallen of the exercise bandwagon over a year ago.  Then again, I don’t think I ever broke back into my highest weight range again, so that helps, too.

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Today, I wanted to do some weight training, but my left arm was strained from lifting bags of driveway salt at work, so I decided to focus on calisthenics and cardio. I pumped up my balance ball since it makes exercise easier for me and I got down to doing crunches, Russian twists, side crunchy things… don’t know what they’re called, and squats. Then I “jogged”. I only got in a half hour of each type of work out, which was a little disappointing, but I haven’t been at it regularly in a long time. I started out only being able to do 8 minutes of a video workout DVD! So, like I said, I’m not starting from scratch. I’m still stronger than I was a few years ago. Just have to dust myself of and keep pushing.

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My exercise reminded me today that I do like it. I like to sweat a little, feel my muscles moving, get that tingly rush of adrenaline and a burst of energy. My bad leg fared pretty well. I would not be able to do squats without the ball, though. One step at a time! I really thought I was going to dread doing it, and I did a little bit in the middle of my workout, but I pushed through a kept going. It was worth it, definitely.

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I wish we had more fresh stuff in the house, but the produce at the store looked dreadful when my parents went shopping. With leftovers and more processed foods than I’d like, though, I came out within my calorie goal and have enough for a snack later. I’m going to get into post-workout smoothies (well, maybe even breakfast smoothies and stuff when I’m not in the mood or have time to make an omelet or whatever else) so I’m going to order all kinds of healthy additives. Spirulina, bee pollen, green tea powder, cacao nibs, carob powder… I forget… LOL, but I’ve been looking up all kinds of things for an added nutrient boost and found a lot of it at one of my favorite websites www.nutsonline.com . Good prices, too. I’ll be a smoothie makin’ booty shakin’ lady in no time! I’ll pick up things locally that I can like frozen berries, whey protein powder, spinach, flax and fresh items to get a pretty decent “meal in a glass” going. I think that protein shakes after my workouts helped my muscles recover, so I’m happy to get back into that. Low cal additives that pack in vitamins and antioxidants just seem like a good idea and I’ve seen some great examples looking around the interwebzz today.

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So, I’m excited. I’m grateful to have this real life person to go through it with me. No judgment or anything like that, just friends that are out for each others’ best interest. We can be hard on each other when we’d rather waffle and curl up with a bowl of ice cream.  She’s also firm with me about getting my health care in order. I’m still trying to find a way to be able to afford a doctor and prescriptions. If I don’t, my mom will tell on me and my friend will kick my butt!

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Now, I’m going to go relax. I’ve actually gotten a lot done today. Tomorrow, I’m going shopping for healthy lifestyle friendly items and I will then claim a shelf in the cupboard and one in the fridge as my own so I don’t have to wade through potentially triggering items when grabbing some noms. Out of sight, out of mind, right? If I can get through this first month, it will get easier since I’ll have made paths for new, healthy habits in my brain. Yay for healthy habits!

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I hope each and every one of you have a wonderful, blessed, healthy, happy 2011. You’re worth it.